... of a B Minus," Wendy Mogel's newest book challenges parents to examine their true goals and aspirations for their children, especially their teenage children. Are our actions, our attempts to protect, support, and defend actually having the exact opposite desired effect? "We [parents]," Dr. Mogel says, "worship the idols of our childrens' happiness." We tend not to allow our children to fail, or to work through their problems. We want them to succeed, to not feel pain, to avoid the struggle, to be perfect. Parents, she says, intent on making their children happy, often rob them of the growth and maturity that comes with failure.Mogel's philosphy, to use her own words, is “compassionate detachment,” defined as “viewing the upsetting aspects of adolescence as normal and necessary—as blessings that represent healthy growth, parents can put them in perspective and react thoughtfully instead of impulsively. Thus, bad grades, emotional outbursts, rudeness, breaking the rules, staying up late and experimentation become signs that a teen is on course, not headed for disaster.”
We learn the most I think, especially about ourselves, not from our successes but from our mistakes, our failures.
Food for thought and a book well worth the read.
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